Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Cafe of Doom Holiday Special

Who’d have thought it? Surpassing all my expectations of being solely a purveyor of grim, unhygienically produced and  cryptosporidium habouring meals, the Café of Doom is extending its repertoire to include the heady heights of tourism. As exemplified by the genius marketing tool that is a grubby chalkboard next to the hell bound death tunnel, this popular establishment is now offering holiday specials. At the small cost of £495, you can combine any desert with any in-flight meal and tea or coffee. 

Plane food is regarded a fine dining experience by Café of Doom regulars; one to be taken seriously. Forty thousand feet above the North Atlantic ocean en route to Benidorm, mini bread rolls are spread eagerly with mini butter, tiny sections of unidentifiable animal flesh chewed with relish, teeny ex-tinned vegetables savoured. “Der, that was lovely that food wasn’t it love? Lovely that plane food,” says Café of Doom husband to Café of Doom wife during each aeroplane journey from one comfort zone to another.

Unexpectedly, Café of Doom Travel has stretched their sights further than the favoured Balearic based destinations of its locale, opting for stranger sands. Where to choose? The Gobi? The Sahara? Perhaps in current climes, not such a good idea, although Café of Doom patrons will be no stranger to a combative atmosphere. I think I’ll settle on The Gibson Desert, and food-wise…when in Rome (or rather, Western Australia) it would be rude not to opt for Roats Pots and Impudent Sassages. Did I tell you the Café of Doom now has a bar license? This in mind, my obligatory alcoholic drink will be their special, a pineapple and peppermint snowball, followed by an extra-obligatory tannin torched tea heaped with seventeen sugars. With a regularly changing chalkboard, and a clearly advancing ambition, I advise you to book quickly before CoD's esteem explodes and they run out of places, moving on to attempt world domination. Happy Holidays. 

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